toddler Archives - Parenting Foundations

Routines or Schedules: What Works Best for Your Household?

In the hustle and bustle of modern life, finding a balance between routines and schedules can be a game-changer for families.

Both routines and schedules play crucial roles in creating a stable and nurturing environment for children, but they serve different purposes and offer unique benefits. Understanding the distinction between the two and how to implement them effectively can help your family thrive.

What Are Routines?

Routines are the regular, predictable activities that happen every day. They are the backbone of daily life, providing a sense of security and stability. Routines are less about specific times and more about the sequence of activities. For example, a bedtime routine might include brushing teeth, reading a story, and then lights out. The focus is on the order of events rather than the exact time they occur.

Benefits of Routines:

1. Security and Stability:

Routines provide a sense of predictability, which can be comforting for children. Knowing what comes next helps reduce anxiety and creates a sense of security.

2. Independence:

When children know what to expect, they can start to take responsibility for their own actions. For instance, a child who knows the bedtime routine can begin to brush their teeth and get ready for bed without constant reminders.

3. Skill Development:

Routines help children develop important life skills. For example, a morning routine that includes making the bed and getting dressed teaches responsibility and self-care.

4. Family Bonding:

Routines can create special moments for family bonding. A consistent bedtime story or a family dinner can become cherished traditions that strengthen family ties.

What Are Schedules?

Schedules, on the other hand, are more about timing. They involve planning specific activities at specific times. A schedule might include waking up at 7:00 AM, breakfast at 7:30 AM, and school drop-off at 8:00 AM. Schedules are particularly useful for managing busy days and ensuring that all necessary activities are completed.

Benefits of Schedules:

1. Time Management:

Schedules help families manage their time effectively. By allocating specific times for activities, you can ensure that everything gets done without feeling rushed or overwhelmed.

2. Consistency:

Schedules provide a consistent framework for the day. This consistency can be especially important for children who thrive on routine and predictability.

3. Productivity:

Having a schedule can increase productivity by reducing downtime and ensuring that important tasks are prioritized.

4. Flexibility:

While schedules provide structure, they can also be adjusted as needed. If an unexpected event occurs, you can rearrange the schedule to accommodate it.

Finding the Balance

While both routines and schedules offer valuable benefits, finding the right balance between the two is key. Here are some tips to help you strike that balance:

1. Start with Routines:

Begin by establishing strong routines for key parts of the day, such as morning, bedtime, and mealtimes. These routines will provide a stable foundation for your family’s daily life.

2. Introduce Schedules Gradually:

Once your routines are in place, start to introduce schedules for specific activities. For example, you might schedule homework time, extracurricular activities, and family outings.

3. Be Flexible:

Life is unpredictable, and it’s important to be flexible with both routines and schedules. If something unexpected comes up, don’t be afraid to adjust your plans. Flexibility is key to maintaining a healthy balance.

4. Involve Your Children:

Include your children in the process of creating routines and schedules. This involvement can help them feel more invested and responsible for following the plan.

5. Monitor and Adjust:

Regularly review your routines and schedules to see what’s working and what isn’t. Be open to making changes as needed to better meet your family’s needs.

Practical Examples

Morning Routine:

– Wake up
– Brush teeth
– Get dressed
– Eat breakfast
– Pack school bag

Morning Schedule:

– 7:00 AM: Wake up
– 7:15 AM: Brush teeth and get dressed
– 7:30 AM: Eat breakfast
– 7:45 AM: Pack school bag
– 8:00 AM: Leave for school

Bedtime Routine:

– Take a bath
– Put on pajamas
– Read a story
– Lights out

Bedtime Schedule:

– 7:00 PM: Take a bath
– 7:15 PM: Put on pajamas
– 7:30 PM: Read a story
– 8:00 PM: Lights out

Conclusion

Routines and schedules are both essential tools for creating a stable and nurturing environment for your family. Routines provide the security and predictability that children need, while schedules help manage time and ensure that important tasks are completed. By finding the right balance between the two, you can create a harmonious and productive daily life for your family. Remember to be flexible, involve your children in the process, and regularly review and adjust your plans to meet your family’s evolving needs. With the right approach, routines and schedules can help your family soar.

Pacifier: The Real Deal

by Brenda McSween | Baby Sleep, Child Sleep, Infant, Parenting, Toddlers and Preschoolers

A pacifier (aka soother, dummy, sucky, etc) can be a blessing and a curse at the same time.

The sucking reflex is a very calming for many children. It is a very natural thing. Children come out of the womb with the ability to suck and they love it!! Many of you may even have pictures of your little one sucking while in the womb!

As children age, the soother can become an object that they depend on greatly. I believe this is often when pacifiers become an issue.

What is the big deal about a Pacifier?

The following is a list of the reasons that a soother can become an issue:

Children can begin to develop dental issues with prolonged pacifier usage after 2 to 3 years of age.
Children that keep the pacifier in their mouth all night may struggle with getting into the deeper stages of sleep.
You may find yourself going on a soother hunt several times a night in a dark room!
Your child needs your help to put the soother back in their mouth during each wake-up! We all wake every to 60 to 90 minutes.

When should you consider removing the Pacifier?

This is completely up to you; however, there are a few things that would cause me to encourage you to drop the pacifier. The following are my reasons for dropping the pacifier:

Your child is not able to go back to sleep with out you inserting the pacifier and they are in a different room than you. Your sleep is definitely affected.
Your child is not appearing well rested. This will be evident with their behaviour during the day.
Your child’s speech is impacted by the pacifier.
Dental issues are beginning to develop.

How can you remove a Pacifier?

There are a number of ways that you can remove a pacifier from your child. The older your child is the harder it can become; however, it is possible and may not be as hard as you think. Here are some common ways to remove the pacifier:

Cold Turkey:

This may seem to be the harshest method but in reality, it is the easiest. Stop giving the pacifier. At first, your child will protest; however, you can add more comfort to your child during this transition which will help with removing the pacifier.

This is the best method for children under 1 year of age.

Gradual Removal:

This is when you start reducing when the soother is offered during the day. For example, only offering the pacifier during rides in the vehicle and in bed. After a few weeks of only offering it during designated times, you then cut it out completely. The first few days without the pacifier are trying times but it does get better with time.

This is the method that we used with our son. When he was just over a year, we only offered the soother in the vehicle and while he was in the crib for a nap or bedtime. I would offer a snack in the vehicle when needed and offer comfort objects (ie his lovey) when he needed something other than my comfort to calm him. Then we set aside 4 days where my husband and I could take turns offering him support through the night if he needed it. The first night he requested it a few times at bedtime but we stated “it is all gone” and offered him a hug. at bedtime, it took a few extra minutes to put him to sleep but that was it. He woke once during the night and needed comfort to go back to sleep. Night 2 he asked at bedtime and we stated the same message “it is all gone”. He fell asleep and stayed asleep all night. That was it!

This is the best method for children between 1 to 2 years of age.

Soother Fairy:

This is when your child gathers up all of their soothers and places them in a spot where the soother fairy (aka you) will remove the pacifiers and replace them with an object that your child will enjoy or has been asking for. For younger children, it is a good idea to replace the pacifiers with an object that can be used as a comfort object. After the pacifiers are gone you may have to deal with an upset child during sleep times or periodically throughout the day. The best thing to do is make sure you dispose of the pacifiers so you do not give it back to your child.

This is a method applicable to children over the age of 2 but best for children close to age 3.

Stuff a Bear:

This is when you bring your child to a place that makes stuffed animals and brings along the pacifiers. Your child then stuffs the pacifiers in the bear or whatever stuffed animal your child chooses. Then voila you have Soother Bear! When your child requires support you can remind her to grab her bear and also provide hugs and extra comfort when needed. This can be a quick solution for some children. Some children do get frustrated that they know where the pacifier is but cannot get it.

This is another method that is good for children over the age of 2. This is my preferred method for children that are closer to 2.

Deflating the Pacifier:

There are a couple of ways to do this; however, before proceeding I would like to remind you to proceed with caution with this method. The soother can become a choking hazard as the material gets compromised when you deflate the soother. This is when you poke holes in the soother so your child will no longer be able to suck the soother like she did before. Some children do not care and keep chewing on the soother. Other children will just stop using the soother as they are no longer getting the benefits from the soother.

This method is good for children over 1.

Chopping the Pacifier:

This is when you cut off a little piece of the pacifier. I advise you to proceed cautiously as this can also be a choking hazard. You usually start with the tip and then every few days chop off a bit more until there is nothing left but the plastic handle. Some children will just stop using the pacifier altogether and some will hold onto the plastic handle and suck on the plastic. If this is the case for your child I would then use another method to get rid of the pacifier all together.

This method is good for children over 2.

As with all things related to children and parenting, there is no right or wrong answer to how you should proceed with removing your child’s pacifier. Hopefully, one of the methods in this article will help your child with removing their dependence on the pacifier.

If you have any other questions or need assistance with coming up with a plan to assist your child with becoming pacifier free, please feel free to post a question in the forum area.

Take care and have a lovely day!

Dealing with the Unexpected

by Brenda McSween | Parenting

Children (like most humans) are creatures of habit. When something unexpected happens it can throw things upside down in their little world.

Children, especially young children, will struggle to discuss the changes that happened but you will know they are affected by it through their behaviour.

The following are some common things that happen when the unexpected happens:

1. Increased Tantrums

2. Non-compliance/Defiance

3. Increased Emotion (tears and whining)

4. Interrupted Sleep

5. Decreased/Increased Appetite

Your child is being affected by the unexpected event, Now What???

First, let’s talk about a situation that we went through about a year and a half ago…

Unexpectedly, my husband and father of our then 5-year-old ended up in the hospital for just under a week. This event rocked us all to the core. I wanted to curl up and separate from the world; however, this adorable little 5-year-old had a different plan.

The little guy kept asking the same questions over and over again. He would replay the situation with his words. He would tell anyone that would listen (sometimes that meant he was telling strangers details). This was hard for me to process; however, I knew the importance of letting him talk so I did. We never shut him down. He slowly stopped talking about it on his own.

He asked to stick with his routine. I thought it was best to keep him home from school the day after his dad ended up in the hospital. He wanted to go to school. I then sent him to school. Children thrive on the expected! He was comfortable going to school and wanted to be there. So off to school he went. He also wanted to go to Beavers that night so he did.

He needed to see that Daddy was okay so we went to the hospital to see him but did not stay long. We kept the visit short and sweet.

Then he asked for answers. He needed to know why things happened the way they did so I explained things in terms I knew he would understand. I did not shelter him from the experience. Instead, I involved him and kept things as age appropriate as possible.

We often try to protect our kids. In protecting them we do not give them the information they need. This can be harmful. Children will start to use their imaginations to come up with reasons that things happen. It is best to keep them in the loop. This really helped our little man.

In time, he was able to move on from the situation. He actually moved on much quicker then the adults did.

Steps to Take when the Unexpected Happens:

1. Keep to the regular routine as much as possible

2. Let your child talk (no shutting them down)

3. Do not take any outbursts personally

4. Keep things age appropriate

In summary, do not underestimate your child’s ability to handle the situation. Your child will thrive if you keep things age appropriate and as close to their routine as possible. If you have any further comments, please feel free to comment in the comments section under this post.

Sleep Sack: Is it really necessary?

by Brenda McSween | Parenting

There are so many different gadgets and things available for infants and toddlers now that is can be overwhelming as a parent. You may find yourself asking…Is this really necessary?

Is a sleep sack something that is needed or not??

If you are reading this as a new parent I want you to fast forward in your thoughts to when your child is climbing out of the crib way before you want them to! Now stop and think about how a sleep sack can prevent a child from lifting their leg over the rail. Run do not walk to the store and get your child a sleep sack!

It is much easier to get your child into a sleep sack as a baby then it is as a toddler to prevent the crib climbing. This is the main reason I recommend a sleep sack. It is not the only reason though.

Another reason for a sleep sack is for warmth. Both the American and Canadian Pediatric Societies do not recommend blankets in the crib until at least one year of age. The sleep sack is wearable and moves with the child; therefore, it is acceptable.

How do I know which one is best?

There are so many different types of sleep sacks out there these days that he can be overwhelming. The main things I look for is temperature regulation and how easy is it for a toddler to get out of it.

You can get a sleep sack for different temperatures. Each sleep sack has a TOG label. This label will help you decide which one will keep your child warm without causing him to overheat. I had one that was made from bamboo which would flex with the temperature. You can spend a fortune on finding one that works so I would ask your local mom’s group for their favourite one and TOG level. The TOG level best for my son may be different for your child is you live in a warmer or colder climate.

To keep our little man warmer in the winter he would wear a fleece sleeper under the sleep sack. In the summer he could often be found in a light sleeper or just a diaper shirt in his sleep sack.

In my personal opinion, the most important thing to look for is how a child can get out of the sleep sack with ease. The ones with the button on the shoulder were easy for our little man to get out of. We had one with a zipper down the middle. The zipper started at the top of the sack and zipped down. The good thing with the zipper in the middle was when he started experimenting with unzipping it, I was able to turn it around so the zipper was in the back. I did this a few times and then he stopped trying to undo it.

As with all decisions we make as a parent the best decision is the one you make for your child. This post is my opinion of why I like a sleep sack. As always be the parent you want to be!

Have I ruined my child’s sleep?

by Brenda McSween | Baby Sleep, Child Sleep, Newborn, Parenting, Sleep Training

I will often get asked if a child’s sleep is now ruined because a parent had to sleep with the child or had to offer more support.

There are times when my little man puts things into a perspective way better than I can. Last night he was struggling with going to sleep, Thank You Day Light Savings! When he really struggles my husband or I will lay with him.

As we were laying there I was holding him (a great big snuggle and a hug). We were listening to a guided meditation about a Koala Bear that was not able to go to sleep (here is a link to it). The meditation was talking about how the bear was not able to lay still in his bed. My little man said to me “someone needs to hold that bear down”. I laughed to myself.

Then I realized that my little man understood what I was doing. I was holding him down to help him sleep. After he made that comment I was even happier about the fact that I was able to assist him and he knew exactly what I was there for.

A short time after our snuggle our little man was able to go to sleep. Does this mean I will have to do this every night? No, it does not. After children have mastered the skill of falling to sleep with minimal assistance they often do not want you there.

There will be a time, or two thousand, that they require extra support. There is no harm to offer the support. Some children may need you to slowly remove the support and others will adapt quickly without issue.

The point of this post is to remind you to do what you feel is right for your child. Slowly but surely you will get them to be doing exactly what is best for them.

Take care and as always, Be the Parent you want to Be!!