Readiness: Is your child ready?

Readiness: Is your child ready?

by | Member only, Parenting

Readiness. This is an important topic that can often get overlooked.

I have talked to a number of parents that are concerned about their child’s development after their child has spent some time with some same-aged peers. Our children are constantly growing and learning new skills. The main thing to keep in mind is that not all children are going to learn the skills at the same time.

This can also be said about things like sleeping, eating, and toileting. If I was to line up 10 6 months olds, they may all have different sleep needs. In order for each child to get their desired amount of sleep, we have to consider their needs and follow their lead. We can start by following age-appropriate guidelines but then it is important to follow our child’s lead.

So then how do you know that your child is ready for a new skill, to drop a nap, or to meet a milestone? Often it is a gut instinct but there are a few factors that can be great indicators. These factors are:

 
1. Age

Your child’s age will be a guide as to the different things that they can accomplish. You do have to keep in mind that age is a guide and not all children will be able to do the same things at the same age.

Your child’s biological needs will change with age; therefore, your child may naturally do things differently. For example, as your child ages, their sleep needs change and reduce on a regular basis (just ask any parent trying to figure out a good nap schedule for their child).

 
2. Interest/Desire

Your child will begin to observe the environment around them at a very young age. They will try to grab things, explore things or want to do things that you do. This will inspire them to learn new things or they will accidentally do something that they like to do so they will keep doing it. A great example of this is when our little one’s rollover. They are now interested and have the desire to do this new skill. They will keep trying until they are successful.

 
3. Encourage/Support

There will be some children that will avoid new things unless they feel supported or encouraged. You can help your little one get ready to accomplish a new skill by encouraging and supporting them. Bring out the pompoms and cheer!!!

How can you help your toddler and preschool-aged children become interested in new things? You immerse them in it. Read a number of stories. Watch shows/videos. Talk a great deal about the skill. Make it really fun!! This will inspire a number of children to do things like using the potty, riding a tricycle or running bike, or move to a big bed.

Everything in small steps. Then using positive reinforcing words or gestures can help. In cases where a child is really apprehensive to try a new thing using a reward can help your child get started. As the skill is achieved you can wean the reward.

Here is a great quote by Srividya Srinivasan that sums this up…”Sometimes, we don’t know we are ready until someone tells us we are”

 

Now please have fun watching all these new skills develop.

If you are concerned that your child is not meeting milestones and you are not sure what to do feel free to book a free 15 minute consultation with me. I will lead you in the right direction and either let you know how I can help or guide you to the appropriate professional for your concern.

 

When “I will be back” is not good enough

When “I will be back” is not good enough

by | Child Behaviour, Child Development, Member only, Parenting, Parenting Tools, Play, School Age, Toddlers and Preschoolers

 

Does this sound familiar…

You are super excited to go out. Your little one starts to scream when you are getting ready. You begin to doubt yourself. You start to think it would be so much easier to just stay home.

Or what about this…

Your child is enrolled in a program or class that it just for them. Your child was pretty excited about it. The day comes when the program happens. Your little one is refusing to get ready, crying as you are going out the door or starts to cry when you get there.

 

It can be so hard as a parent when your child is struggling with separating from you. I understand this completely!! Our young man has gone through struggles with separating from us, especially me. I honestly have shed many tears over this.

The fact is, it is very normal for children to experience separation anxiety.  

There are a few steps that will help your child with transitions and separation. The steps are as follows:

1. Allow your child to be upset.

We will often try to stop our child from being upset. If they are expressing their emotions we will ask them to stop crying. My belief is that the emotion is better out than in. Once your child is able to express their feelings it gives you an opportunity to figure out what is driving their behaviour.

2. Transitional Object

Giving your child a comfort object to keep with them. If your child already has a lovey this may work. I find that the best object is something of mine that my son really thinks I need. I used to give him my key ring and a business card. The key ring is something I always use. Whenever I came home or picked him up he would give it back to me.

Another really good item to use as a transitional object, especially for bedtime, is a piece of your clothing that has your scent on it. Our little man will go into my closet when I am not home at bedtime and help himself to a shirt of mine he wants to sleep with. He has even ended up with my pyjama bottoms on more than one occasion.

3. Keeping your emotions in check

This can be easier said than done. When your little one is struggling with the separation it can be heart-wrenching. It is not the end of the world if your child sees you cry; however, it is important for your child to see you express your emotion while you move forward with the plan.

4. Practice

This means that you keep going out or you continue to bring your child to the program. Over time the separation anxiety will reduce. If there are still issues than I would look at the program to make sure it is a good fit for your child. I would do this after 8 weeks. All behaviour can take up to 8 weeks to see a complete change.

5. Be Present

When you return to pick your child up or when you see your child after you return from your outing, make sure you pay attention to your child. Spend lots of time connecting and playing with your child.

 

As with all things parenting there is no one solution that is right for all children; however, these tips should help get you on your way. If you would like to have solutions that are suited for your particular situation, please book a free 15 minute consultation by clicking on this link.

If the separation anxiety is something that has been going on for a long time you may want to inform your child’s doctor and/or speak with a child psychologist. 

 

Bye for now,

Brenda